If parallel lines meet at infinity – infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I’m a vet. I don’t need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what’s wrong just by looking. Why can’t you?"
The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to have you put down."
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)
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