An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.
– Charles de Montesquieu
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
– Johnny Carson
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
– Kurt Vonnegut
There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.
– Louis Pasteur
Any event, once it has occurred, can be made to appear inevitable by a competent historian.
– Lee Simonson
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
– Frank Zappa
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield
I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize.
– George Bernard Shaw
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