Humour

Fourth Idiot

This article is based on true incidence and has resemblance to a true idiot. So give your full attention as this can also happen to you.

“A wise man writes down what he thinks, a stupid man forgets what he thinks, a complete idiot punishes himself for what he thinks.” what a truth said by an idiot.
Many of you must have watched the bollywood blockbuster “3 Idiots” with your friends. This incident is all about risk of watching an excellent movie without right people and remembering consequences of the same.

25th December 2009, the date on which 164 minutes running time Hindi movie “3 Idiots” got released. The budget of the film was 35 crores and was declared a hit prior to release. But being a Gujju watching a movie in Multiplex on first week is subjected to entertainment risk. This fact was supported by past facts that 9 out of 10 movie watched by me on first week were Bollywood’s big flops. For me, any cash outflow is related to return on investment. So I ignore the release, news and gossips about the movie.
But within 10 days of the release, the film crossed the INR 1 billion mark in India and became the first film of 2009 to do so and that forced me to go for it. I called many of my friends and in discussion I asked them whether they watched the movie or not. Each and everyone said yes with a comment “what a movie, mindblasting” and I am nodding with them…hmm…ya…really, so that they don’t know that one idiot among them is still to watch it.

After trying so much I decided to go to watch it on the coming weekend whether anyone is coming or not. Before weekend, I talked to my brother who was going through MBA entrance those days. As soon as he came to know that I haven’t watched the movie he said, “Brother you are a waste. What are you doing in Mumbai where multiplexes are a kilometer apart? I have managed to watch it and you didn’t. Go watch it, you idiot”. After putting down the phone, I realized that I am elder between two of us. I’m a one-man idiot.

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30th January 2010, the date on which I wake up with one and only one mission to watch “3 Idiots” movie. I was accompanied by my aunt and uncle. As suggested by my uncle, I went with them to Mehul Theater in Mulund West with a hope that this will be much better than that of Jabalpur where you have to pray for good seat so that your body parts don’t abuse you after the movie, uncut scenes for complete entertainment and video-audio in sync so that audience don’t throw bottles and break seats anymore. We reached the place and found that there is no queue at window for tickets. I confirmed and found it was sold out. Suddenly one lady came to me and offered the tickets. I asked how much? She said 120/-…I said what is this, one screen multiplex or theater. I failed as an MBA to negotiate the prices and decided to spend 100/- more for movie but will watch in PVR.

So three of us took an auto for Nirmal Lifestyle and rushed to PVR. After 10 people I reached to the window and asked 3 ‘3 idiots’, the person on other side smiled and said I have only 1. With frustration, I said can you arrange for 2 more? He said wait here till the show starts and look if someone wants to resell. We didn’t wait and took the same auto standing outside for R Mall and I preferred stairs to Big Cinemas. I was happy to see that no one was in queue and I rolled to the window. I asked for tickets the lady said 2 tickets available in front row 460 bucks. I shouted don’t book I need three.
After few minutes we moved out of the mall and found the same auto. We three idiots returned to home after tour de Mulund. After reaching home I paid the fare, the autowala smiled and said, try tomorrow. I realized instantly that he knows these people will go and come back to him as the shows were houseful.

There’s nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot. But we didn’t lose our hope and went to Mehul again on Sunday. We bought the tickets in black having seat number 26F, 27F and 28F. We were so juvenile like we got the final tickets of FIFA World Cup. Suddenly my uncle moved to a line which was to enter the theater as the door was small. 20 minutes later, we reached inside; the theater didn’t seem to be different than others of Jabalpur. One person was helping to identify the seats, took the ticket and said sixth from top.

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The scene was similar to stairs of Dadar station; people are rushing even after having tickets. Suddenly we realized that we had two seats at one side and one at other side of the passage. My smiling face turned to the face of a person giving condolence to someone. I asked my uncle and aunt to sit on other side and get seated on other side. After few minutes, I found one big family surrounding me and one person shouting “From F 29 to F 38”. I saw few young girls and thought situation is not so bad. But after everyone moved in, seat next to me was vacant which was filled by a 70 year old lady whose stick was placed at my left leg. I was cursing everyone at that time “why me? I have rights to equality” and with no time to curse, the movie started.
I haven’t laughed out my heart, I can’t share the comments on certain things and if I laugh with crowd also after few seconds I realize that someone on my left gazing me. Neither “jahapana’s Tohfa nor chatur’s chamatkar entertained me. The last thing which completely tops all was the kissing scene between Aamir and Kareena where noses don’t get touch; the lady was laughing her false tooth out of mouth. That time, I realized that mitigation of risk is subjected to bigger ones.

As soon as I put my foot out of the hall I figure out the fourth idiot.

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Desh Kapoor

The panache of a writer is proven by the creative pen he uses to transform the most mundane topic into a thrilling story. Desh - the author, critic and analyst uses the power of his pen to create thought-provoking pieces from ordinary topics of discussion. He writes on myriad interesting themes. Read the articles to know more about his views and "drishtikone".

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