Since she was older and had moved from a home to the Animal Shelter, she was very depressed since she came. She wouldn’t even bark for first two weeks. It took her time and she was getting to become normal.. or as normal as she can be.
I had never realized that animals can have similar feelings and even reactions that humans have.
Today, I went to work and kids went with wife to her work, and instead of leaving Bella inside the house, my wife left her outside in the backyard. “The weather is good”, she argued “and besides it will be easier for her to go pee or crap”.
Seemed a good idea. Except Bella, who had seen the trauma of someone leaving her at a strange place and suddenly taking away all the love given to her, had different ideas.
For the first time, when she was left alone, she pawed the door. “That’s ok, she will be fine in a few minutes,” my wife argued and left with the kids. She was unaware of the depth of Bella’s fear and sense of insecurity.
When she came back, the entire area where Bella had been left was in complete mess. The rug on which she sits, had been torn apart. The side of the door had been scratched away. Another cloth kept nearby had also been completely torn into shreds.
She had been so upset.. and angry, that she did what she would never have done. She is one of the quietest dogs I have seen. Very gentle and loving. But when hurt, she turned completely wild it seemed.
We have seen her show love to us by coming and licking us and even putting her mouth under our hands telling us to pet her.
None of that today.
It was a quiet anger of hurt and protest.
When I sat with her in the evening holding her face in my hands, I could see her eyes turn wet. I am not sure whether they were tears or just normal doggy eyes behave that way. But one could see the extreme hurt in her eyes.
She was still responding, but somehow the life seemed missing.
In all her simplicity, this being has taught me so much in human terms. Love. Unconditional.. shameless in asking and giving, both.
She stops on walks if any of my kids is behind her. When I feed her with my hand, she stops biting her food, when my hand comes very close to her mouth. If one could be completely loving, then this is a beautiful way to be so.
Honestly, in my life, I have come across very few beings with such amazing sense of engagement and Love.
I am not sure what she is getting from us, but I am very sure that what she is giving to us in terms of taking our living to the highest order is immense. It is very possible for someone to look at such beings and their love, be touched by it, and simply lose ones self and ego. Such is the beauty and grace.
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