Religion

Who is Q’uran’s author? Allah and Anonymous battle it out on Bookreads!

Bookreads is a book lovers network site.  An interesting battle has been going on there on the authorship of Q’uran.  The grand battle is between the Muslims and the “Infidels”.  The Muslims assert it is “Allah” as the author of Quran, while Infidels (what else would you call them) insist it is “Anonymous”.  Afterall, Bible has been assigned to the same ubiquitous “Divinity”  Anonymous.  So it stands to reason that Q’uran would have the same source.  But Muslims aren’t taking that lying down.  They know they are “special” and nothing short of a proper name would do. Well, if they could have enough space they may add some lengthy suffixes after that as well.  But for now the fight is for getting Allah back into business.

As of this writing, Infidels seem to have gotten their guy up there and he is anonymously pleased.

Here is the whole drama captured by an inquisitive reader, called Manny.  Super thanks to Jasleen Matharu for making our day by sharing it with us!

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Have other people noticed that the Qur’an is listed here as being by Allah, whereas the Bible is by “Anonymous”? If I were a Christian, I think that would leave me feeling just a little annoyed.
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Since I posted this review, the entry has been changed, and the Qur’an is now also listed as being by “Anonymous”!

Well, whoever did that is a braver man or woman than I am. I admire your chutzpah. So to speak.
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And now it’s “Allah” again!

My impression is that the Muslims and the Infidels are pretty evenly matched here. Looks like it’ll be a close game.
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Mere days later, and now we’re back to “Anonymous”!

I’m particularly impressed by the good sportsmanship both sides are displaying. Who says a religious war can’t be carried out in a civilized and courteous manner?
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In a surprise move, the author has now been changed yet again to ‘ALLAH “the creator” (As believed in Islam)’. Match that if you can, Infidels!
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“Anonymous” once more, but to be honest it seems rather unimaginative. Come on, Infidels, you can come up with something better than this, can’t you? What would Dawkins do?
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Back to “Allah” again. I clicked on His page and was immediately confronted with some interesting options. I could become a fan! (I was surprised to see that Allah didn’t have any fans. Evidently I’d been misinformed). I was also asked if He had a blog, and on reading further discovered that

As a librarian, you can create a blog for this author even if they’re not on Goodreads by adding the feed URL (Atom or RSS) of a blog they keep elsewhere. This will make summaries of their blog posts available here.

Unfortunately, I don’t know of any blog kept by Allah, but if I discover one I’ll make sure I use this feature.

Oh, and by the way He doesn’t have any upcoming events either. Is this correct, or merely a reflection of the fact that He exists outside of space and time?
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Ho hum… “Anonymous” is back. He/she has written a whole lot more books than Allah, but also lacks fans. Well, that’s one thing they have in common…
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Flash update: the author has now been changed to “God”!

This boldly ecumenical move impresses me. God, I learn from His Homepage, is the author not only of the Quran but also of The Gospels of Jesus (KJV) with Search Every Verse Navigation, Optimized for E-Readers, where He is credited as the author and King James as the translator. He has not written any other books. Well, I’ve never pretended to understand theology, but I recognize new thinking when I see it. I hope someone more competent than I am is already preparing an exegesis.

The page ends with the following rather intriguing prayer:

Is this you? Let us know. If not, help out and invite God to Goodreads.

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I’m disappointed to say that we’ve now got “Anonymous” again. Whoever did that should be ashamed of themselves. “God” was inspired, this is just dull.

What other possible candidates could there be? Muhammad (PBUH)? The Angel Gabriel? Abu Bakr? Muhammad (PBUH), Bakr, Uthman and Hafsa? We need some fresh ideas here.
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After several months of inactivity, we have another change, but it was worth waiting for: “Allâh (God Almighty)”.

Brilliant! Isn’t that circumflex just to die for?
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The Infidels, with their characteristic rapier wit, have changed the author back to “Anonymous”. Sorry, but I am not impressed. And don’t give me that Goodreads Policy crap. Plenty of holy books are not listed as being by Anonymous, for example The Book of Mormon and The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I look forward to seeing the Muslims’ next move – I think they have the initiative.
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The Muslims score again with “ALLAH” (all caps), who has also written Study the Noble Qur’an Word-for-Word Volume 2 and Study the Noble Qur’an Word-for-Word Volume 3. Mysteriously, there is no Volume 1. ALLAH has three quotes, of which the first is “لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الل” (“There is no god but ALLAH and Mohammad is his prophet”).

Now that’s class. Okay, Infidels, let’s see if you can change the author to something that’s not yet another “Anonymous”. I dare you. I double dare you.
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Boo! A few days later, and “Anonymous” is back. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to convert to Islam.
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Allah has returned again, but in a confusingly different form! This time, I found He was only the author of the Qur’an and had two fans, Nabila and Tarek. I decided that it was prudent to become a fan as well.

I checked to see which authors were like Allah, and was startled to see that the list included Alexandre Dumas and Italo Calvino. I’m sure it’s greatly to their credit.
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That didn’t last long. Notgettingenough, whose opinions I greatly respect, felt that it was inappropriate for me to be a fan of Allah. On reconsideration, I agree with her. I have cancelled my brief fanship and hope that both parties will understand it was an honest mistake.
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The Infidels only have one idea, and here it is again. Sigh…
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The Muslims are back, and score another fine goal with “الله”. That’s “Allah” in Arabic script for all you people who can’t be bothered to check it on Google Translate.

Contrary to what certain skeptics may say, religious belief appears to give you imagination. Go Islam! !الله أكبر
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Without waiting for the Infidels to reply, the Muslims score again with “الله جلَّ جلاله”. The person responsible has even created a cool avatar for His homepage. Nice work!

Admit it, Infidels: you have been comprehensively outplayed here. The classiest thing to do would be to have some suitable representative come forward and formally concede. That might at least win you back some respect.
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The Infidels refuse to admit defeat, and come back for the ninth time (I counted) with the single move they know how to make. Though, confusingly, the title of the book is now given only in Arabic script.

If it’s an attempt at a compromise solution, I very much doubt that the Muslims will buy it. Watch this space.

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Desh Kapoor

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