Iran promotes 'Islamic' haircuts

Iran has laid down the law: mullets won’t make the cut.

The Islamic regime, which strictly enforces head coverings for women, issued grooming guidelines for the guys this week.

Among the do’s that are now don’ts? The ’80’s Prince-style pompadour preferred by many young Iranian men, the Steven Seagal-style ponytail and the “business in the front, party in the back” sentiment of the mullet — also popular among the Persian populace.

The approved styles have a distinctly 1950s look to them: short on the front and sides for the most part. But the gel-slathered, combed-back 1980s look also received the government’s blessing.

The “Islamic” haircuts were unveiled at the Hijab and Chastity Festival, a fashion event designed to show how the country’s youth can be stylish yet not run afoul of the fashion police.

“Hair styles have been designed based on the shape of the neck, beard, the size of the chin and provincial cultures,” said Jaleh Khodayar, the secretary of the festival. Her comments were reported by the semiofficial Mehr news agency.

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