Bouquet #7: Eclectic Mind Food (Faking, Changing minds, Awe, Pet's Death, Evil vs Stupidity)
1. Faking it
The impostor phenomenon or syndrome has been around for long. In early 70s, an assistant professor at Oberlin College named Clance found that many women, even when successful, thought they were not good enough. So much so that even though they passed an exam, they would think they had failed. When she talked to her colleague, Suzanne Imes, she found that Imes had the same experience. They both then talked to over hundred and fifty “successful” women: students and faculty members at several universities; professionals in fields including law, nursing, and social work over five years. They wrote a paper - “The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention.”
The paper was rejected initially, but it attained a cult status. Over the years they realized that the feeling of being an imposter is so overwhelming that the impostor begins to do everything possible to prevent being discovered in her self-perceived deficiencies.
2. Changing Minds with Facts
Julie Beck wrote an article "This Article Won’t Change Your Mind". The fundamental question she asked was:
“What would get someone to change their mind about a false belief that is deeply tied to their identity?”
Facts alone cannot change people's mind.
Once people are attached to an identity, then they can be manipulated.
3. Awe and Happiness
Having gratitude helps one. In fact, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness
Awe happens when you realize that the existence is far bigger than what your mind can fathom. That in itself is enough of a meditation.
Dacher Keltner writes in his book "Awe" based on two decades of research about the benefits of awe.
Far from being an undefinable caprice, awe, to Keltner, is a panacea, an evolutionary tool that holds the key to humanity’s capacity to flourish in groups. On an average day, a person might come to a place like Point Reyes without feeling anything more profound than a slight unburdening of the soul. But if you lean into that feeling even for just a moment, the benefits can be manifold. Proponents of this new science believe that experiencing awe may be an essential pathway to physical and mental well-being. By taking us out of ourselves and expanding our sense of time, it counteracts the self-focus and narcissism that is the root of so much modern disenchantment. To experience awe, to fully open ourselves up to it, helps us to live happier, healthier lives.
Once you become part of the larger whole, your sense of self-importance and narcissism.
4. Mourning a Pet's death
In today's world, as people increasingly have pets at home, a time comes for many where they have to consider euthanasia. And that creates many threads of feelings. From feeling like a murderer, guilt and shame.
Coming to terms with and mourning a pet's death.
5. Evil vs Stupidity
You can fight what is obvioously evil but how wll you fight stupidity?
Villains in comic books and action movies are known and can be fought against. But stupidity is a different problem. We are more tolerant of it and it's hard to defeat. When confronted with facts, a stupid person will not accept them and can become angry.
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